Looking Back on the Past
by qkslvr
Summary: my version of the cave...spoilers for episode 30...oh, and Nuriko ^_^


**Disclaimer:** okay, I really hate to say this, but…it ain't mine. No…Fushigi Yuugi's not mine. Nuriko's not mine…hell, I don't even own the bed I sleep on (heehee, kiddin. That one's mine.)

**Warning:** ep. 30

**Note:** I don't remember the whole cave thing. All I know is Nuriko told his story. So, this may be a bit different from what he actually said. Hell, it might not be the story he told! But heck, they call this fanfiction right? ^_^

**LOOKING BACK ON THE PAST**

I looked at them.

From my position across the fire, I could see their faces, waiting, expecting. Well, I guess there's no way to escape this…

Straightening my seat, I cleared my throat, and started speaking, "When I was young, I had a sister…Kourin…"

I paused, examining their faces. Serious. "She was a year younger than me, but we look so much alike. People often mistake us for twins," I chuckled, remembering the look of surprise when they find out the truth.

"When I was ten, we were out on the streets, playing. We were on our way home when I crossed the street…she was calling after from the other side…" I closed my eyes. I thought she was right behind me, really. God, Kourin, you were always a slowpoke. Why didn't you follow close behind? I really thought you were right behind me. Right there. Where I can grab you easily…where I can…protect you.

Keeping the tears from falling, I continued, "When I turned back, I saw her approaching me, halfway. She was at the middle of the road when she called my name again."

_"Ryuuen-chan!"_

Still keeping my eyes closed, I recalled my last glimpse of her…alive. Up to now, if I close my eyes, I could still see her. The vibrant purple eyes, hair always out of the confines of the braids she always pleads kaasan to do for her, her favorite red dress she always wears, everything. I just have to close my eyes and I can clearly see her.

"The next thing I know, a carriage was coming close, and I was screaming her name…"

_"Kourin!!!!"_

She stopped then. I was trying to tell her to hurry up, but when I called her, she stopped. I would've run to her—I should've, but I can't. I was too planted to the ground I was standing on, shaking, too busy calling out her name…

_"KOURIN!!!!!!!"_

I opened my eyes. Miaka has her mouth in her hands, eyes tearing up, and Tamahome has this grief-stricken look. Not exactly a bedtime story, but was I even older when the whole thing happened in front of me?

"…she was there, o-on the ground. Sprawled. Blood was everywhere…" I can't stop it. The tears just fell, spilling on my cheeks, to my arms. Hastily, I wiped at them. What's the point of crying over it, now? She's gone. They found out my secret. There's nothing else I can do about that.

"I just can't accept the fact that she had to die so young. I won't accept it. So, I started wearing her dress, acted like her, and only answering to the name Kourin."

"IS that why you became a fag?" Miaka said.

I looked at her, feigning insult, "Hmph! I'd prefer the term heterosexually challenged." She didn't mean any harm. I know she didn't. It was just too much for her to digest at once. Perhaps, it was the mood. Tension in the air was so thick, you can cut it with a knife. She was just trying to ease the mood. Any other occasion, that'd be my job, but seeing as I'm busy reminiscing, she took it upon himself to be the icebreaker.

I looked at Tamahome. He hadn't said a word since I started the story. He may be taking this way too heavily. Oh yes, I forgot. He knows exactly how I felt. Maybe even better. Catching his eyes, I smiled at him. Hopefully, it would be enough to ease his worries.

Then, there was a tremor. Oh, Suzaku! It's starting to cave in! Calling to Miaka and Tamahome, we went out and I was holding the entrance to the cave close, so as to avoid getting crushed under the rocks.

"What do we do? It's starting to crumble!" I can clearly hear the terror in Miaka's voice.

"I'll do what I can to hold this up," holding up the plank of wood on the entryway, I told them both, "we should send our chi to Chichiri and the others, they're probably searching for us!"

A shot of thunder hit the cave, and Miaka and Tamahome were sent onto the raging sea.__

_Oh, no…not again…_

Trying to gain my senses, I reached out my hand and tried to grab them. I got a hold of Tamahome, with Miaka in his arms. With the strong winds, and the fact that I was trying to keep from being crushed under rocks, it was difficult to haul them both to safety. But I was getting desperate. I can feel Tamahome's hand slipping away from mine. He and Miaka getting farther and farther.

"No! Don't let go! Don't give up! One day we'll look back on this and just laugh about it! Don't give up just yet! I'm not gonna let the two of you die!" Suzaku, help me. Whatever happens, I'm not letting go of them!

Then, in a blinding flash of light—red light—Suzaku's light, the bracelets Taiitsukun gave me turned to armbands and I could feel the strength emanating from it and rushing through my whole body. In one smooth move, I was able to haul them up on the rock.

Relief rushed through me when we found the boat—or rather, when the boat found us.

Chichiri was the first to greet us, "Thank goodness, you're all right!"

"It's amazing you're still alive!" Tasuki, ever blunt.

"Baka! It was your fault to begin with!" with that, Tamahome and Tasuki started another one of their arguments. Sometimes, I thank Tasuki for that. At least, with him there to keep Tamahome from his worries—even if it's in the form of flames—is a big help on its own.

Chichiri was smiling at the antics of Tamahome and Tasuki, Chiriko was looking at them going back and forth, Miaka was somewhere in the vicinity of the kitchen, probably ransacking the area, Mitsukake was in his own corner, playing with Tama, and Hotohori, well, he's probably somewhere around the palace right now, worrying for our safety.

I looked at them, glad that we're still complete. Alive. The events from earlier seemed like a bad dream, a passing nightmare.

Thank Suzaku.__

_"One day, we'll look back on this and just laugh about it…"_


End file.
